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Shining, the thing about friends, tatts and oh yeah, running!

April 27, 2008

 As simple as a passing smile
Or listening a little while
To someone that’s convinced that they are in this all alone
Here’s my chance to share the news
To introduce the good that’s you
Here you go again, you never cease to blow my mind






The above is a verse from a very wonderful song by Salvador called Shine.  You can listen to it here.  This song ROCKS!  It says so much about friendship IMHO.

When you spend the day with a friend, doing things together that you would normally do alone, there is a certain symmetry that evoles. Everything feels balanced and right. There’s no asking why, its just done. There is lots and lots of laughter but then there may be times when serious stuff is a part of the equation.

I told myself i didn’t want to fuck this up. I don’t! I won’t! This friendship is new and sometimes new can be fragile. You have to know how to handle it and cultivate it and make it grow. Sort of like planting a fig tree! Just the right amount of water and it will flourish. Not enough, and it dies. It’s that simple.

Trust. Thats important too. I trust Karen completely 100%. I go to her for advice and help all the time and she gives me that advice and help all the time. Even if she is busy, she takes the time. This tells me a lot. I hope she knows that it goes both ways. I think i will tell her.

Honesty. Another biggie. We both know this. I’m not all that good at stating my feelings so i do it a lot in writing. I think this is cool because it lets me be so honest and just a little vulnerable.

I do not like people who are phoney. This does not sit well with me. I do know somebody like this and sometimes it hurts my feelings when i think that she just calls me for favors or rides or to complain. Why? There’s no feelings just distance. Denial perhaps?

Laughter. Wow, this makes me happy. Why not laugh? Karen has an amazing dog, Maddy. Maddy is a mush. She loves to be held and she also loves to lick your face. Your eyes, up your nose, your lips pretty much your entire face. It tickles. I held on to Maddy for 30 min and we cuddled too. Karen’s little man said once “mom, maddy licked my brain”! I thought about putting Maddy inside my backpack when i was leaving but i couldn’t do that to Karen. I told Karen that i think pets take on the personalities of their families. Maddy is like a doggy version of Karen. There’s 3 cats too. Mama, fuzzy and Dash. I am not a cat lover and Karen knows this yet these cats won my heart.

So now you know why i am shining. It’s a good feeling to connect with a kindred spirit.

A rare and beautiful thing shared among humans. A thing you are not just the recipient or giver of, but something you are both to one another.
No one knows how it happens, since it isn’t the result of some tumultuous exchange of deep dark secrets nor the end product of shared silly antics or endless repetition. You just open yourself and they do the same and for the rest of your time together, you allow each other to been truly seen and understood.

In a book called Friends for the Journey, there is a description of a pastor who was visiting a congregation in another country, where he didn’t speak the language. He asked his translator how to say ‘thank you’ to the church’s member, to which he was told that there was no direct translation for that phrase. “Thanking someone isn’t something you say,” replied the translator. “It’s something you do.”

Like love, having a kindred spirit isn’t something you can easily describe. You just know it when you have one. You finish each other’s thoughts, both spoken and unsaid. You easily forgive spoken or written errors because you know what they meant, and you can follow even their most frayed lines of thought. No one can get into the sphere you share.

I would like to mention self esteem. Yeah that nasy word. Let’s throw in some self-worth too. Self-esteem isn’t bragging about how great you are. It’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot (priceless, in fact!). It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted.

What is Success?
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
To laugh often and much; (done)
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; (done)
To earn the appreciation of honest critics (done)
And endure the betrayal of false friends; (done)
To appreciate beauty, (done)
To find the best in others, (done)
To leave the world a bit better; whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; (done)
To know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. (done, i think)
This is to have succeeded.

I have not run in 2 days.  For a few reasons.  Mainly, i felt i needed the rest.  It was really hard to not run.  Running has become so much a part of me that it almost feels as if i cut my arm off or something.  I was missing something.  But, it was needed and important that i listen to my body and realize i am not superwoman.   I really feel that my running is a gift from GOD.  HE/SHE is nice enough to allow me this pleasure.  Among other pleasures, this ranks right up there with well…you know!  Hey, dirty minds, not that..i was thinking more along the lines of eating a good meal with friends.  Thats pleasure 101.  Basic, simple, easy!

I am a fighter.  I don’t want my mind to conquer, to have any thoughts other than good ones.  It can be done folks.  Today, i spent a good part of the day grazing.  Eating stuff maybe i shouldn’t have.  Dates, a container of blackberries, some some homemade kale and sweet potato chips.  It’s OK!  It’s feel good comfort and delicious food.

Tomorrow is another day.  I fully intend to run.  Please do me a solid…when you go on your respective runs, send some vibes my way.  I think this will help me in so many ways.   I respect my fellow runners and love to read about each and every one of you.  Your accomplishments and struggles as well.  This blogosphere is amazing that way!  Us runners must stick together!!!!

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 29, 2008 10:36 pm

    Good vibes a comin. I hope the running gets better for you. Sounds like you have a found a great friend. You’re so lucky.

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