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It’s called The Girl Effect….I’m just saying.

July 24, 2008

“he should be really really tough but really really gentle”  Heck, i want a really really tough man!  None of this gentle shit for me!  This is why i love to see a man running in those sexy, tight running tights.  You can certainly see his package coming from a mile away.  Sometimes, i am looking so hard at said package, i trip over my own two feet as i’m running and end up needing stitches.  This is the dangers of being Michelle and running.  Looking at those really really tough men!  I also like to run behind a man with a cute, pinchable, sort of bouncy butt.  In said running tights would be preferable but loose fitting running shorts will sufice as well.  Then we get to the dreaded P word.  Yep, the ppppp…hmmm, penis!  Hon, i say he SHOULD use all of it!!  WTF???  Really really good looking too and really really spontaneous with stuff i WANT!!!  Did i say Garmin?  But folks, most importantly, IMHO my dude has to be able to fly!!!  Come on girls…you know you want your man flying don’t you??

 

Well, now that i think about it, who needs a man anyway?  We girls have to stick together.  Build a village, a nation, the world!!!  Run fast.  Run faster!!!   We’ve got what it takes to make it all happen.  Now!  Today.  The Girl Effect.  It’s simple really!

What the fuck am i even talking about today?  I sense that you sense that i am rambling about absolutely nothing.  You are right.  I am.  So what.  It’s just that kinda day.  Random thoughts just come and go.  Come and go.  I did not run today.  Could that be it?  I have not experienced the slight high i get as my legs move into what one would, at close inspection, think is me running.  Or hopping perhaps.  But definitely moving.  I did not move today.  Well, if you count my arms moving up and down shoving a spoon into my mouth as moving then i did move.  Sorry.

The Girl Effect.  So, yeah it could happen.  It probably won’t.  At least not in 2008.  Perhaps 2009?  I’m just saying.

I am going to see The Dark Knight tomorrow night.  I am very much looking forward to viewing this film.  Heath Ledger.  I miss that dude.  His performance, is Oscar worthy, i’ve heard. 

 

I’m happy here.  Might be because i’ve just experienced a big penis and all of it was used!!!   :O)  I’m just saying!

So, i bet you thought that was the end huh?  NOPE!  I feel like writing something fun.  I wana rant just a little bit OK?

Maybe if we all ranted and just completely got off our chests the things that are taxing our minds, then we could be stress free, too.

So, here are my rants for the week:

THE TIP JAR – Can we talk about the tip jar? It’s at every Starbucks, every sandwich shop, my friend even says there is one at his dry cleaner. It never really bothered me. BUT NOW IT’S MAKING ME CRAZY. Where it really makes me insane is at Starbucks which gives it’s employees stock options and benefits. And on top of that, they want a dollar tip on my $2.00 coffee.

Um… no. And to drive home my point, I am now walking around with my own tip jar. YEAH, that’s right, I am. Here’s my thought process. The economy is in the crapper. Right now, when I come in for a cup of coffee, I am keeping you working. So technically, you should be tipping me for your job.

Too harsh?

ICE COFFEE – And while we’re on the topic of coffee shops, why is it that the price of ice coffee is 30-50% more than regular coffee? They fill the whole cup with ice so technically you are getting HALF the amount of coffee for MORE money.

You know what I do? I ask for a hot coffee and then a cup of ice on the side and then I defiantly mix my coffee and ice together. Sometimes, I bring my own big cup. Who has time to think of these things? I do.

PEOPLE WHO TALK ON THEIR CELL PHONES IN COFFEE SHOPS – I’m trying to drink my three dollar coffee! (Yes, I tipped a dollar even though I didn’t want to.)

PEOPLE WHO RIDE VESPAS – That’s cute that you’re saving on gas and stuff but 1) You don’t look like you remotely know how to drive that thing and 2) If I hit you, I might laugh a little.

Wheeeeeewwwww! Do I feel better. So now I want to let your fingering rip over that key board and gimme your rants.

Come on you skinny bitches lets hear it!!!   I’m just saying!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2008 9:21 pm

    I have a yoga rant. When some stupid bitch sits directly infront of you, blocking your mirror. Then when asked to move over a little, the bitch acts like she doesn’t speak english. THEN, when walking out after class, the bitch hits you in the head wtih her yoga mat.
    Seriously.
    WTF?

  2. michjoy61 permalink*
    July 24, 2008 9:43 pm

    HAHA!!! Love that rant!! Absolutely, WTF!! Well, i don’t do yoga but if i did definitely WTF!!!

  3. July 31, 2008 4:43 pm

    Slow people in the passing lane… talking on their cell phones, while eating, watching TV and applying makeup really harsh my mellow – and fake cowboys… they really piss me off!
    I also can’t stand people who let their kids act like monkeys out in public – those morons incur my wrath!!

    Whew! That felt good!

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