Revolution in my heart…
I very much intended to post a photo of myself after my run today! The photos were taken and i quickly loaded them into my computer all excited. I then looked at each photo. Looked again. And again. Then decided to post an entirely different photo! Nuff said…
So, January 29, 2008 was a very important day in my life. It was a Tuesday, i remember that like it was yesterday. Well OK, i just looked in my calendar to confirm. Yes, it was a Tuesday. Anyway, i think that day should possibly be made into a national holiday of some sort. You wouldn’t complain with a day off from work, would you???
Let me explain. After some poking and some prodding, well more like my therapist Liz saying things like “Michelle, you know exercise really helps you lose weight” and “Hey Michelle, when are you going to start running again?”…you know stuff like that, i decided that on January 29, 2008, I would resume my running career. Like it was a job or something. Like i had to work at it!!! HA!!! Little did i know. I was quite naive!
So, on January 29, 2008 i awoke, dressed and headed out. I believe i did close to 2 miles that first day. Again i said i believe. Doesn’t make it true. Then, a strange thing happened. I awoke the next day, dressed and headed out. I ran. I started liking it. I got reaquainted with my running friends that i have not seen in such a long time. I started feeling really good about myself. I lost some more weight. I started remembering why i love to run and call myself, proudly i might add….a runner!
July 29, 2008 – Today! 6 months of continuous running under my belt. Or should i say under my chubby tummy?? I don’t know, you tell me!!! I wanted to do something special so i decided:
6 month anniversary – 6 miles – 66 minutes. I DID IT!!! I feel amazingly happy and accomplished. I set a goal and met that goal. I bitch slapped that goal. 6 friggin months of running. It’s as if the running gods were certainly watching over me. Knowing what i was striving for and letting it happen. OR was it me?? I don’t know, you tell me.
Sure, within those 6 months i took days off, i actually gained 5lbs…(just eating chocolate pizza and shit) BUT i feel marvelous! I am so not one to toot my own horn, but hey if i do not toot it, who will???
Running has given me so much. I am a runner for over 20 years. With large breaks inbetween, the last break being the longest. Broken toe, depression, becoming fat and generally feeling miserable. Damnn broken toe!! Damn depression!! Damn fat!! Damn feeling miserable!!! I have no time for all that now!! No energy to devote to the crap.
Right here, right now i am feeling happy. Of course, who knows what tomorrow will bring. I don’t. You don’t. But, i really find myself looking forward to my morning run. I run at 6.45am. I don’t have to run that early, but i choose to. It allows me to spend time with the greatest people i know. My running friends/buddies/mentor! There’s really nothing like it.
I know i sometimes come here and post really depressing thoughts and stuff. I’m usually all like, oh i hate life and i hate running and i hate you and me and food and sex!!! OK, well maybe not sex! Definitely not sex!!! Definitely not food either. OK, i definitely don’t hate you. But, sometimes i hate me.
All i’ve ever gotten here is encouragement and hope and love! I soooo appreciate that you guys! I appreaciate that God allows me the pleasure of running. Sure there are days when i curse running! Fuck you running! Fuck you legs! Just fuck you! Behind those fuck you’s are thank you’s. To no one in particular, but to everyone! It’s crazy isn’t it??
And finally, Homer Simpson has advice for those who want to complain about things. It’s really an almost Zen observation on how to achieve and maintain a spiritual level of content. The problem that most people have is that they are unhappy because of something that occurred previously. For instance, many of us are unhappy that Pres. Bush lied to us about Iraq in order to win approval for sending strangers to die there. If you find yourself unhappy about something, I suggest you take these words of Homer Simpson to heart. Study them. Consider the depth of meaning that exists in this deceptively simple observation. “Everything looks bad if you remember it.” Yes, no matter what your problem, no matter what it is that is causing your misery, the resolution to your discontent could not be simpler. Just stop remembering whatever it is that caused you to become unhappy. If you quit remembering it, it won’t seem as bad.
I’d like to thank my parents for encouraging me, i’d like to thank the academy for giving me this award, i’d like to thank GOD up above for allowing me to act in this movie….um wait i’m not an actor, i didn’t just win an academy award did i??? Yikes, its 6.45am, my alarm is ringing, have to get up to run!!! Was i dreaming??? Shit, i don’t want to run! Yes i do!!! Who am I?? Do i even have running shoes??? WTF???
I’m just saying!!!!