I’m Broken….Please fix me….
January 29th 2009 is the 1 year anniversary of my second start at running. In other words, i’ve been a runner for the better part of 18 years ON and OFF. Too much stuff to even talk about right now, but January 29th 2008 I made the decision to love running again. And i did. Still do.
The thing is i keep trying to run as if it was the year 1991. I keep thinking that i am a young runner able to defy gravity and all the things that sag on my body and still do 8 minute miles. Ummm nope. Not happening. Not even close. Ok i did run an 8.35 mile a month ago but that was hard and i wasn’t able to maintain that pace.
Right now, i am nursing some sort of odd injury. Both of my thighs hurt when i run. They hurt when i walk too. I cannot seem to figure out if it is my inner thigh or closer to my knees because it seems that sometimes it hurts in either of those two places.
I am well aware that in less than 3 weeks is the Manhattan Half Marathon. 19 days to be exact. I am getting anxious and nervous that i may not be able to pull it off. It’s not that i don’t want to run it because the mind is able. It’s my damn body that is rebelling against me.
In 2008 i did all the wrong things. Everything from running a 36 day running streak to well to lots of things. I feel as though i did nothing right. I loved every second of running though. You all know that about me already. And i will never give up.
It’s just that its 6 days into the new year and i only ran 2X. On the second run, i was told i was limping. Was I? I don’t know. I was running in pain though and i should have known better at this point. Yet i kept on going. I cannot get a grip on what i was thinking. It perplexes me.
So, here is what i will do. Take as much time off as needed to have this crazy ass thing heal. I don’t even have a go to exercise when injured and i can’t run. Literally, all i do is run. Thats it. Not one other exercise has graced my body in a very long time. Well, unless you count walking as exercise then yes i did cross train.
I will be fine. I just want to get on with it is all. I want to run. I need to run. I feel crappy when i do not run. It’s really just that simple. I guess i am addicted to running. Why is it that being addicted to something that makes you feel so good can also make you feel so bad when you cannot do it. Crazy??
So, take a listen to my favorite Coldplay song – Fix You….
I think you may like it. I know i do!!!
When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse.
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I’m overwhelmed by the strength of my body and the power of my mind. For one moment, just one second, i feel immortal!!!