I Am Screaming On The Inside….
I am beyond frustrated. The days are coming and the days are going and my toe, well its just staying the same. Well, thats not entirely true. I have been doing the exogen treatments faithfully. I believe its going on 2 weeks. So, I went to Dr. TOE today. He said no xray until next week. He wants to wait for 3 weeks of the at home treatment I’ve been doing.
My walking has been sporadic. Because, when I get up on the boardwalk to walk, I run. I run. It’s just who I am. So, I am stuck. Should I keep taking chances up there on the boards and try to walk? Or revert back to wait mode and sit back down on my sofa in the spot that has my ass print?
In my mind, as I am typing this, I am screaming very loud. To myself of course but still, I bet you can hear it if you listen closely. I did tell Dr. Toe today that when he tells me I can run I may have to hug him. He looked at me all serious and said “OK”
He did say that when I do run again, I will have to take it slow. “Slow in pace or in mileage”? I asked? Oh, BOTH!!! YIPEE!!
So, I go from running 10 miler to 0 miles back to 1 mile perhaps. Don’t get me wrong. When I am cleared to run 1 or 2 miles I will be jumping with JOY!!!
I’ve gained 5 lbs in the last month. It was bound to happen, but quite upsetting to me. I have no doubts the weight will come down once I am moving consistently. I am fine with it really.
I am very confident that on May 30th I will indeed be running the Brooklyn Half Marathon and so is Dr. TOE!!!
Thats all I got for now. HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY to you all.
“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”