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Bored In Brooklyn..

May 11, 2009

DSC01915

So, I thought I would take a bath.  

When that didn’t help all I had left were my boring thoughts.  You know it’s not as if I cannot walk.  I can.  And the pain I felt last week in my shin seems to be subsiding.  Thats a good thing.  It’s just that in the back of my head, I keep hearing my running buddy saying “don’t run on it yet, Michelle”.  OVER AND OVER!!!  That is what I hear.  

I almost feel as though I am running in my mind.  I really have to hold myself back.  I am also beginning to not care as much.  Why bother?  Why bother when all I ever get out of my running – is hurt.  Why bother?  Why read all the blogs about race reports and scream out AWESOME!!  WHY?

Yesterday, I walked into my favorite running store in Brooklyn to show my sister something.  I almost hyperventilated.  The people and atmosphere was all running.  I felt it.  The treadmill was going.  The new spring kicks were all lined up perfectly.  I told my sister lets get out of here.  I swear I almost orgasmed.  Ok, so I didn’t really almost but come on runners, you all get a kick out of new kicks right?

I don’t want the Brooklyn Half Marathon taken away from me.  I just don’t.  I just don’t.  This is the one race in my “hood”.  I don’t have to go far to the start and the end is 5 minutes from my home.  You simply cannot ask for a better race for us brooklynites.  

Why bother?  This is what I am asking myself because I am bored in Brooklyn.  That and I need body wash because I ran out and I smell.  

Christie asked me today “what is in your head”?  Short answer: Why bother?  Long answer: I love running.  I love running.  I love running.  

I don’t feel like Michelle if I don’t run.  I feel like the MRI alien.  Living is somebody else’s body.  I admit it, I am pissed off.  At myself.  I fucked it up by doing to much.  Why does running make me feel so good all the time, yet so bad some of the time??  

GM1871~Fun-And-Games-Posters

I guess I have to man up huh?  Get with the program.  Go with it instead of bucking the system, because my system ain’t working.

I just sat here and read Mel’s post about her marathon today.  She ran as much as she could in pain before she had to stop per paramedics orders.  I am teary eyed for sure.  She gutted it out for 22 miles.  Go support her.  

You know, maybe I am not that bored after all.  Time to stop the bullshit.  Time to stop complaining.  Time to do what I have to do.  

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mom’s out there.  

Life is good. It is what it is.  Not what it could be, not what it should be. It is what it is.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. May 11, 2009 10:09 am

    You’re blogging early today. I empathize with you wanting to be on the road but needing to not do that for awhile. Yesterday, I think everybody in the West End of Richmond must have run by my house for spite — because I can’t run. But, runners don’t do that to each other so it must have been my imagination.

  2. May 11, 2009 11:02 am

    It’s been a tough road for you lately, but it’ll pass, and you’ll still have the entire summer running season ahead!
    Gotta keep a positive attitdude.

  3. May 11, 2009 12:52 pm

    Hey Ms. Running Down a Dream…. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are entitled to what you are feeling. Your feelings and your dream are valid. There are times when we have to stop. It is perfectly okay to go back to square one after getting minor injury. We have to re-think. We have to figure out a way to have an injury-free running season. There are ways. Only you can make it happen by taking one step at a time. I know its easy for me to say this but adding a little bit will add a lot in the long run. I will always be supportive to you. It is imperative that you have a good attitude and it will pay off.

  4. May 11, 2009 5:53 pm

    “Time to do what I have to do”

    But you know you are veteran when ya bitch about it, like you’ve done it… 🙂

  5. May 11, 2009 10:55 pm

    It’s okay to be upset or angry.

    Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Do what you need to do.

    Best wishes for healing and happiness.

  6. May 12, 2009 12:20 am

    thanks for the shout out girl. Appreciate it 😀

  7. michjoy61 permalink*
    May 12, 2009 12:22 am

    You are most welcome How are you???

  8. May 12, 2009 1:11 am

    Thanks for checking on me, Michelle. Yes, Michelle … I do know I shouldn’t run when hurting. The problem has been that it wasn’t hurting when I started. By the time it hurt, I was a long way from home.

    I have an appointment at the doc’s tomorrow at 1:00. She’s a marathoner and triathlon so she will be sympathetic … well, at least she’ll understand the desire to run.

  9. May 12, 2009 10:45 am

    I totally feel your pain. Injuries suck out loud. They really do. I met the guy who came in 4th overall at the NJ Marathon. He is 49 yrs old and said he’s had something like 6 stress fractures since he started running (we’re only talking like the last 10-15 yrs). He just waited for it to heal up and then went out and started running again. Hard. You will get past this.

  10. May 12, 2009 9:28 pm

    Ohhh chica I know, know, know how bad it stinks being sidelined but you WILL get better and you WILL be out there running soon (i know it doesn’t seem like it now but you’ll see)

  11. May 14, 2009 1:24 pm

    For some reason whenever I saw the title of this blog post, I got the Beastie Boys song “No sleep till Brooklyn” in my head. 🙂

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