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Guest Post – Numero Cuatro..

June 25, 2009

jh07

In My Dreams….

Hey hey, I am not quite sure how to describe this next awesome young fella.  He is a runner (of course) blogger (duh) new friend of moi!  He is very very funny and makes me giggle.  NOT AS MUCH AS GIGGLE GIRLIE whom he likes to call Teh Marcy for reasons I will leave alone FOR NOW.  What I really love about his writing is his rambling on and on.  I just like it.  So, I thought about it and asked him if he would write something up for my blog here.  Within seconds minutes he came up with something and yeah I LAUGHED  A LOT.  So let me give you a linky to his blog so perhaps you can laugh too!!  Not at him please.  Just with him always.  ALL BULLSHIT – NO RUNNING!

Michelle graciously (or foolishly? You decide) asked me to be a guest blogger here at her blog, Running Down a Dream, and she offered a number of enticements to get me to agree to guest blogging but the truth is she hadme at these three little words: “You can curse.”

I can curse?!1! Fucking-A!! Woo-hoo!

Shit fuck! Ass pussy! Dickwad nutsack!1! Dr. Nic!

Okay, now that that’s outta the way …

When somebody asks you to write for her blog, you do something you (well … I, anyroad) never do, which is actually think about what you’re gonna write. Because, hey, it’s okay if all of you out there think I’m a dick (full disclosure: It’s really not okay. And you’re a bigger dick for thinking it is), but what I write here at Michelle’s blog could also destroy poor, unsuspecting Michelle’s reputation for the rest of her natural life … if I do it right, that is. She could end up being shunned by friends and family – assuming she isn’t already – how the fuck would Iknow? (Man, I’m fucking loving this carte blanche for cursing!)

So as a guest, I gotta be all respectable, is the point, which is something I never have to worry about being when I write for my own blog whose name and url escape me at the moment but if you search Google using the term “n*ts@ck” my blog should be like the first or second hit you get, I would think. (And it can be revealed here – a Running Down a Dream EXCLUSIVE – that “n*ts@ck” = “notsock” – so EAT IT all you people who thought I was referring to my own nutsack in all those posts where I wrote n*ts@ck! You’re soooo vulgar! You really disgust me – to the very depths of my n*ts@ck! (ß That time, I meant “nutsack”.)

I suppose I should mention something about running since this is ostensibly a running blog. Okay.

I started running because I have Fat Eyes which means the eye doctor saw what he called “lipids” in my eyes and he was just being polite because in this instance “lipids” just meant “fat” and he probably said “lipids in my eyes” because he was afraid if he called my eyes “fat”, I’d say like, “Well, I’d rather have Fat Eyes than cellulitein my n*ts@ck, Dr. Pork-Nuts!”

But I knew he meant fat.

And having “lipids” in your eyes means you probably have high cholesterol, which I got checked and turns out I did. Have high cholesterol, that is.

So rather than go on liver-destroying drugs for my cholesterol – I have my own plans on ways to destroy my liver, thank you very much, and those plans are spelled “BE-EE-EE-AR” – I decided to run because in the course of having my cholesterol levels explained to me, my doctor must’ve mentioned about 5 times that runners have high levels of the GOOD cholesterol and love levels of the BAD.

So I started running so that I could continue to drink beer. End of running story.

And I would just like to point out to a certain someone – and no, I don’t mean Teh Marcy, I mean someone totally different, named … uh … Teh Darcy – that Dr. Fuckin NIC was never asked to be a guest blogger here so what the fuck? Why won’t you lurve me the way you lurve him? WHAT’S SO FUCKING GREAT ABOUTHIM?!1?

– Show quoted text –


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14 Comments leave one →
  1. June 25, 2009 12:25 pm

    FIRST!1!

    Man, it’s just like I said on my blog: This guy’s a fucking DICK!

    Love levels” of the bad cholesterol? Can’t he even spell “low”? F*CKTARD (<–By which I mean "facktard")

    O yeah. Hiya, Meesh.

    Please class the joint up again in your next post by NOT including this guy. (And by "this guy" I mean that ugly luuuzer on the motor scooter depicted above.)

  2. June 25, 2009 12:49 pm

    i love how dr nic is now referred to as a curse word. hilarious!

  3. June 25, 2009 1:32 pm

    All I’m sayin is that Teh Darcy has most excellent taste in Drs. She knows what she’s talking ’bout 😛

  4. June 25, 2009 1:58 pm

    Hahhaha Damn you beat me to it. “Love levels of Bad Cholesterol.”
    Absolutely hilarious. I wonder if Teh ‘Bride would consider anything on you at a “Love Level.”

  5. June 25, 2009 2:07 pm

    I thought Teh Darcy was a man. Are you trying to tell us something, Glaven? 🙂

  6. June 25, 2009 8:18 pm

    I did google “n*ts@ck” and FYI, this post came up numero uno. Second on the list was some bullshit blog by some fat-eyed beer drinker.

  7. michjoy61 permalink*
    June 25, 2009 8:25 pm

    HAHA! You are all hilarious! I just googled n*ts@ck and there I am!!!

    WOO!!!!

  8. June 25, 2009 11:12 pm

    I will now attempt to get n*ts@ck to come up with a hit on my blog site from google. I just need to make it more discreet 😉

  9. June 26, 2009 2:27 am

    Damn, I don’t think my blog will ever come up with a n*s@ck search. Luckily I’m the first blog that comes up with the search “running beer mama” and I’ll take that. ;o)

  10. June 26, 2009 5:03 am

    OMFG…it took a guest post for me to learn which vowels were missing from n*ts@ck…I always thought it was notsick….which never really made much sense to me, but still.

    I’m still gonna follow Michelle’s blog ‘cuz if she wanted a guest post by G, then she’s all right by me 🙂

  11. June 30, 2009 11:09 pm

    HA! This post just makes me want to swear – a LOT! 🙂

  12. October 13, 2009 7:21 am

    If one discriminates against dishonest persons on the basis of warranted negative attitude toward those people or on the basis of accurate beliefs about the associated traits of those persons relevant to decisions as to how to deal with them, no wrongful discrimination occurs. ,

  13. October 22, 2009 7:30 am

    Every time I see these I think of his work and how much lighter and easier it must be to set this up instead an old smelly canvas tent. ,

  14. October 23, 2009 7:08 am

    Eamon which was supposedly written about her. ,

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