Why and How Come?
“Always in motion is the future.” – Yoda
It always amazes me at the things I do. I often ask myself why? How come you did that Michelle? You know better, don’t you? I am not perfect. I do the wrongs things more often than I do the right things.
No no no! This post will not turn into a woe is me, oh I feel sorry for myself shit. I cannot allow that to happen.
Most of the time, I am miss positive. At least I try to be. I have a lot of crap to deal with on a daily basis, most of which is caregiving related. I am not complaining, just explaining. Running is a serious part of my life. A very serious and important part of my life. When I do things to danger that very important part of my life, it pisses me off. Big time. It is nobody’s fault but my own. I know this, and you all know this.
As I said in my last post, there are always ups and downs. Good days and bad days. It’s the cycle of life really. What I am getting at here is I am feeling just a bit tired of it all. Dragged down by the unpredictability of it all. If I have one thing in my life that is special to me, why do I take chances with it? It’s like playing with matches when you were a kid. That match is going to light one day and watch out.
I almost feel like I want to go back in time, back to the simple days of running up on the boardwalk and not giving a hoot about anything. But, not really. I have come way way to far to do that. I have made way to much progress to step back. But, I need to know when to stop and think and do the right thing. I need to be able to take the advice of folks who want what is best for me. I need to do this. It’s really that simple. I cannot think that tomorrow I will “test” out my hamstring. It simply does not work that way.
I have this nagging hamstring injury and its rearing its ugly self to me right now. I had a great 8.5 mile run on Saturday, took a day off then ran an easy 5er on Monday and boom. Hamstring and butt was tight and hurting. So I used the Stick and took some advil and stretched it. Then today I ran the “test the hamstring” run. It felt decent until the last 1/4 mile of half the run I wanted to do. But, today I was kinda smart and stopped there. Stretched for 15 minutes and used the Stick again. Probably should ice it some too. I even had to miss my very enjoyable speed class tonight. UGH!!!
I feel so much better when I run. I think most runners do. It’s in our blood. It calls to us. And we answer. Sometimes, perhaps we should ignore the call? Put it on hold for a day or two. Let voice mail pick up the call, and leave a message.
So, why and how come? Why do I run with pain? How come I never listen? Who knows. MUST.CHANGE.THAT.BEHAVIOR!!!!
Again, this is not a woe is me post. I am cool. I feel great. I feel a bit drained emotionally, but tomorrow is a new and brighter day.
Anything worth having, Michelle, is worth thinking about, every day, for 5 minutes, in a dark room, wearing a really huge smile.
Shamu slippers optional.