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Why and How Come?

February 3, 2010

“Always in motion is the future.” – Yoda

It always amazes me at the things I do.  I often ask myself why?  How come you did that Michelle?  You know better, don’t you?  I am not perfect.  I do the wrongs things more often than I do the right things.

No no no!  This post will not turn into a woe is me, oh I feel sorry for myself shit.  I cannot allow that to happen.

Most of the time, I am miss positive.  At least I try to be.  I have a lot of crap to deal with on a daily basis, most of which is caregiving related.  I am not complaining, just explaining. Running is a serious part of my life.  A very serious and important part of my life.  When I do things to danger that very important part of my life, it pisses me off.  Big time.   It is nobody’s fault but my own.  I know this, and you all know this.

As I said in my last post, there are always ups and downs.  Good days and bad days.  It’s the cycle of life really.  What I am getting at here is I am feeling just a bit tired of it all.  Dragged down by the unpredictability of it all.  If I have one thing in my life that is special to me, why do I take chances with it?  It’s like playing with matches when you were a kid.  That match is going to light one day and watch out.

I almost feel like I want to go back in time, back to the simple days of running up on the boardwalk and not giving a hoot about anything.  But, not really.  I have come way way to far to do that.  I have made way to much progress to step back.  But, I need to know when to stop and think and do the right thing.  I need to be able to take the advice of folks who want what is best for me.  I need to do this.  It’s really that simple.  I cannot think that tomorrow I will “test” out my hamstring.  It simply does not work that way.

I have this nagging hamstring injury and its rearing its ugly self to me right now.  I had a great 8.5 mile run on Saturday, took a day off then ran an easy 5er on Monday and boom.   Hamstring and butt was tight and hurting.  So I used the Stick and took some advil and stretched it.  Then today I ran the “test the hamstring” run.  It felt decent until the last 1/4 mile of half the run I wanted to do.  But, today I was kinda smart and stopped there.  Stretched for 15 minutes and used the Stick again.  Probably should ice it some too.  I even had to miss my very enjoyable speed class tonight.  UGH!!!

I feel so much better when I run.  I think most runners do.  It’s in our blood.  It calls to us.  And we answer.  Sometimes, perhaps we should ignore the call?  Put it on hold for a day or two.  Let voice mail pick up the call, and leave a message.

So, why and how come?  Why do I run with pain?  How come I never listen?  Who knows.  MUST.CHANGE.THAT.BEHAVIOR!!!!

Again, this is not a woe is me post.  I am cool.  I feel great.  I feel a bit drained emotionally, but tomorrow is a new and brighter day.

Anything worth having, Michelle, is worth thinking about, every day, for 5 minutes, in a dark room, wearing a really huge smile.

Shamu slippers optional.

The Universe

17 Comments leave one →
  1. February 3, 2010 3:36 am

    Love this:

    “I feel so much better when I run. I think most runners do. It’s in our blood. It calls to us. And we answer. Sometimes, perhaps we should ignore the call? Put it on hold for a day or two. Let voice mail pick up the call, and leave a message.”

    You have a gift for writing and inspiring, Michelle 🙂

  2. February 3, 2010 4:17 am

    Why? Because you strive to be better. There is no striving without the risk of disappointment, and well… sometimes pain. There it is.

    It’s not that you didn’t listen, it’s that you aren’t complacent with what you have. That’s human. Get well, but never deny the hunger.

  3. February 3, 2010 5:28 am

    You should know better that runners are stubborn! The funny thing is that when we feel pain or think that we’re injured, that’s when we are driven to run to see if the pain went away. And more likely than not, the pain is still there. I say, give it a rest for a day or two and let your muscle heal up than, totally injure yourself and miss weeks of your run.

    Let the voice mail pick up the message in a day or two.

  4. February 3, 2010 5:41 am

    Hey Michelle, like you said, it’s ingrained within us to push the envelope, that’s why we’re runners. The trick is to know when it’s worth pushing and when it’s not. When you’re at the last quarter mile of a race and you’re feeling good, go ahead and push a little. But if you’re coming off an injury and it’s your first or second run back, then it might not be so wise to push no matter how much you want to “test things”. It’s okay, Michelle. Everything becomes a learning experience. You’ll know better next time. You just have to focus on NOT pushing instead of pushing for the next week or so!

  5. February 3, 2010 12:22 pm

    Great post. I’ve learned over the years that taking a few days or even a week or so off only makes me stronger in the end. You’ve started the year off so great, so a little rest will make things even better.

  6. February 3, 2010 12:55 pm

    Oh man, I am so with you. I have had a lot of ups and downs as far as running go ever since I started. Namely, I got pregnant , twice, and basically took two out of the less than 4 years I’ve been running off for having babies and going through that “why won’t you sleep” phase. The youngest just turned one, and I thought “FINALLY…2010 is going to be the best running year EVER! Nothing can stop me now”. Needless to say I’ve run a total of 26 miles this year, because of a foot overuse injury. I know I’m rambling on about me, (sorry) but my point is I know the frustration of thinking “WHY did I DO that? Why didn’t I just slow down then and I’d still be running now?” But as everyone else said, we runners are stubborn! All we can do is learn from our lessons and hopefully never do it again, haha! Sending healing thoughts your way!!!

  7. February 3, 2010 1:00 pm

    Oh Michelle. I am sorry to hear you are dealing with pain again. How frustrating! Positive thoughts coming your way, girl! 🙂 I am thinking about ‘cha!

  8. February 3, 2010 2:25 pm

    I know how you feel, as I am sure most runners do. I have been suffering here as well and all I want to do is say screw it all and just run through the pain, not caring if I am making it worse! You are doing the right thing! Take it easy 🙂 We will be frustrated together!

  9. February 3, 2010 2:29 pm

    Take care of yourself, Cupcake! I know it’s so hard to resist the urge to do what you love. But in the long run, if you rest and recover, you’ll be able to go further. This is a great, honest post!! 🙂 You continue to inspire me!

  10. February 3, 2010 2:32 pm

    i’ve been fighting some itb pain lately too. i know it’s not fun to deal with. hang in there, you’ve got the love and support of many many people.

  11. February 3, 2010 5:18 pm

    You’re not heavy… You’re my sista… 😀 There is pain, and then there is PAIN. You know the difference. Do what ya gotta do…

  12. February 3, 2010 5:22 pm

    Oh naughty Michelle! 😉 I jest of course – I think you’re awesome and love how honest and upfront you are. Take care! Hugs to you!

  13. February 4, 2010 12:50 am

    I always do things then ask myself what the hell was i thinking!! running helps make me make less stupid decisions and it helps keep my mind clear!! id be so lost with out running!

  14. February 4, 2010 1:49 am

    Smart girl on taking it easy. You’ll recover more quickly that way. Hang in there, girl!

  15. February 4, 2010 8:46 pm

    Start to think of rest days as essential parts of your training program. If you’re injured, use that day to read about the muscle, or to find other non-running related exercises to strength it.

    Get a cup of hot chocolate and don’t beat yourself up. It’s all a part of the deal.

  16. February 6, 2010 3:31 pm

    everyone has given good advice and i must say i concur with them 🙂 this was a great post though, i think we all have these feelings as runners! i know i am a stubborn runner too, so that must be a common trait. it’s hard to sit on the bench but you know it will be best for you in the long run (no pun intended) so that the aches don’t become more serious.

    hang in there girl, keep attacking your hammy with the stick and i hope it feels better asap!

  17. February 9, 2010 3:58 pm

    Happy Ann’y Michelle! congrats on keepin it goin’ for two years. You have a great blog and an inspiring presence on twitter and Daily Mile. I don’t know HOW keep up with it, but you DO it, and you’re amazing. Best, chris

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