~ Bib #25823 DID NOT START ~
So, today I decided to take a walk. I figured 2 miles would be just about right. And it really was. In between the walking I decided to run 2 minutes, 2 separate times. And I did. I was able to run 2 minutes. 2 separate times. When I got back home, I went to the stairs and stretched out my calves. Well let me back up, when I was walking the heel/achilles but mostly the place where the achilles tendon inserts in the heel bone, started hurting more than it has been. That concerned me very much.
I iced diligently and it felt better. I then emailed my orthopedic doctor as he told me to and he said that I need to continue wearing the boot and going to PT for 2 more weeks then come to see him again. Two weeks puts me right at Marine Corp Marathon. It was then that I knew I would be a DNS. I really didn’t want to admit it to anyone, much less myself. But, I know its the right thing to do. I simply cannot see myself “running” 26.2 miles after not running for 3 weeks PLUS.
My training before that was going well. I got in a few long runs and felt good and confident. I knew I wasn’t going to be the fastest or the swiftest, but I was sure going to give it all I had. I am not a quitter. If I set out to do something, I do it. Usually.
In my head and my heart I know better now. It just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right for me to run a marathon with less than adequate training with an injury. And not only that, it would be downright silly.
How does all this make me feel? More disappointed than sad. More frustrated than angry. A little envious of everybody else running. Just a little. I am trying to look at the bright side of all of this. Perhaps, its not meant to be? I’m not even really wanting to run it anymore if that makes even a shred of sense.
I already shifted my focus from running/training/tapering/carb loading to Tweetups/beers/fun/halloween/zombies/meeting cool people/food/dailymilers and most of all cheering on all of my friends running Marine Corp Marathon. You all know who you are right? Because, I certainly do. I can even take photos and stuff. So, I will be there not only in spirit, but in real life. I am needing a break anyway from my life at home.
I am excited about things to come. Hashathon 6 mile trail run on November 14th and HATRun March 19th 2011. For now, that’s all I got.
I just want to listen to the new Sufjan Stevens CD and chill.